What a Day

This day has been full of emotions...It was a good day then turned to a crappy day then back to good. I love my baby so much. I can't wait to have her in my arms again :) Me and momma got all the raking done and burned the bottom of the yard. I mowed for a while. I cook Lemon Pepper Chicken, baked potato and warmed up the dressing from Christmas that we froze...it was good. I am at Aunt Gails keeping her company tonight. She is having a hard time dealing with Huston being gone. She had her hair dyed blonde....well alot of blonde streaks in it. It looks so good. She used to keep it blonde. Now she looks like Aunt Gail again. Katie acts like everything is ok now. She is truly something else. She has issues and I have come to realize that. I just hope what everyone thinks is not true. I don't want to have to hurt her if it is true....My heart is so overwhelmed...I have fallen for a wonderful person and i don't think she knows how wonderful she really is. I still haven't heard from jackass..idk whats going to happen with the divorce..who fucking knows cause I sure don't. I just want it to be over with. I guess I am just impatient but this is all rediculous how he is acting. I got my stitches out finally and it feels so much better. I can move my finger without it hurting. :) I have so much on my mind. So many mixed things. They all just run through my head all day long. Maybe soon my mind will be able to rest and I will be back to normal again. I sure hope so before I go insane. Im trying to keep it together. Nobody really knows what all goes thru my mind everyday and all day. Best to keep some things to yourself. Of course thats how I have always been. I keep it all bottled up until I drive myself crazy and then I go off the deep end. I have crazy ass dreams all the time. I dont even like to sleep because of my dreams. This past weekend was the first time i didn't dream bad things. I know it was because I was with CeCe and I felt so safe with her beside me. I was relaxed more than I have been in a very long time. I ahve dreams about daddy all the time and that bothers me. They are never good dreams. Always bad. I have dreams of Michael and him acting stupid..im just sick of waking up crying because of my dreams. I can't get my mind to be at peace and I really don't know how to do it. Maybe in time it will all be better. I sure hope so. I am gonna go for now but not forever. I love you CeCe