Crazy Day

Well I have had a crazy day. I went to the dr this morning and found out they think I need to go to pain management again. I just can't do that anymore. I have some major decisions to make and they are stressing me out. I went and helped paula and chris at the house they are going to rent. It is going to be really pretty when we get done cleaning and get the walls painted. I picked out my bedroom today and I am going to paint it a beautiful blue color and get some pics to hang on the wall. Im excited about that. They already have a bed to put in there for me to sleep on when I stay over there. At their house I can be myself. I like that, cause I can't be myself at my moms house. I am really tired and hurting but I am going to make it. Tomorrow I am going to clean up all michaels shit out of the back yard at my place. I think he should have to clean it up but I guess thats not going to happen so I will get out there and kill myself doing it. My best friend JJ came by and seen me for a little bit. I'm so glad he came to see me. He told me michael hasn't talked to him since we split. That makes no sense to me. JJ has been our best friend for 6 years and we have all always been really close and its just not right for Michael to do that. JJ is not picking sides..he loves us the same...JJ is like the only friend I have that I can fully trust. I can talk to him about anything and its always been that way and I think it always will be. Katie is here with me tonight. She hung out at Paulas with me today. I love this girl with all my heart. I don't know what I would do without her. Michael and I go Tuesday to sign the divorce papers. Soon I will be unmarried again. I am pretty happy about that. It's best that him and I just move on with our lives. I have moved on and I am very happy with CeCe. She is my world. And I am completely hers now...I know she can never be completely mine but thats ok. I do love her and I want this to work and I am going to do everything I can to fight for me and her. Idk what I would do without her. She has completely changed my life..and I am happy for the first time in a long time. I am gonna go for now but not forever. I love you CeCe.