Been a Rough 3 days

I have had so much on my mind the past 3 days. So much has been building up. I have realized I am finally grieving over daddy dying and dealing with all that has really gotten to me here lately. Last night I laid in bed texting my baby and telling her a lot of stuff and I cried harder than I have cried in a long time. It did help some to talk about it. Im still shocked I opened up to her like I did. Seems like all day today everybody has been talking about my daddy and I just want to get away from it but apparently I can't. I don't understand why he is being brought up so much. I played aggrevation for a little bit but my head has been hurting all day and I just don't feel like playing. Aunt Ruby is getting drunk and getting loud. She has a high pitched laugh and I want to slap her...I guess I better be nice..she is my Aunt after all. Rehgan, Becka, Huston, and little Tucker came by for a little while. Me and Becka talked for a while. We are listening to oldies music and it makes me want to get drunk or high or something....I need to hear some country or some Poison...I still haven't heard from michael...Im really starting to stress over his bullshit he is pulling. I know I shouldnt let it bother me, but it does. I think I am going to write some poems sometime this week. I have a lot on my mind and poetry always comes out of me when I have things on my mind. Writing is just my way of dealing with things I guess. Well this computer light is not helping my head any so I am gonna go for now, but not forever. Baby I love you and thank you for loving and caring for me like you do. You are my world and you will forever be.