Nerves are shot!!!

I just got home from Paulas. I had to go over there and calm Daniel down. Him and Paula were fighting. So many harsh things were said. I don't know what is going to happen between them two. They just can't get along and Daniel has so much anger built up. Some reason I always end up in it..I guess I do that to myself...but thats all fixen to stop because I can't handle all the fighting. My nerves are too bad for all this bullshit. I miss my sweetheart. She has been on my mind alot today. I miss her touch, smile, laugh, kiss...everything. I can't wait to have her in my arms again. I love her with all my heart. Maybe one day I will be able to explain my love for her. I woke up this morning about 5:20 with really bad back spasms. They always take my breathe away...I guess if I hadnt of picked the big computer chair up over my head and carried it down the steps into the den i wouldnt have had them. Just hardheaded i guess...No honey I didnt tell you about it because I didn't want you to be mad at me...and I knew if I talked to you this morning you would know something was wrong...and I didn't want you mad or worrying about me. Im better now.... kinda....I love you honey....dont be mad at me please. Im gonna go for now but not forever!! I love you CeCe

The love of my life

You are loved beyond measure.

To me you are a beautiful treasure.

Over the past few months I have given you all of me.

You make me feel so loved and free.

You are my heart, my soul, my everything.

You have no idea how much you truly mean to me.

When I look at you I see perfection in every way.

I hope you know I am always here to stay.

I love all the time we spend together.

When I am in your arms I feel light as a feather.

Never forget how much I love you.

Always remember my love is true.

Its a beautiful day

Well I have spent most of my day inside cleaning. I have a load of dishes in the dish washer and a load of clothes in the washer and dryer. it sometimes seems never ending around here. At times I take breaks and go sit on the porch and enjoy the sunshine and soak up the fresh air. I am really missing someone a lot. not a day passes that i don't wish she was here with me or i was there with her. Hopefully in time we will be closer together. I checked on Aunt Gail and she is feeling better. i checked on Aunt Ruby and she is still sick. Rehgan and I have been texting all day talking about our lives now and our childhood and how much we miss the people we have lost along this road called life. They are all still in our hearts.I recon Rehgan will always be the sister I never had. Though she strayed at times we always found our way back to each other...she will always be a special person in my life and I have always been able to talk to her about anything. I am sitting here at the kitchen table listening to music and momma just came in from the barn. We are just chatting. I am going to fix hamburger helper for supper I recon. I am always coming up with something interesting to cook. I am thinking about writing some poems. I haven't in a while. I have a lot of love to express so maybe Ill do that. Well the clothes are done washing and drying so I guess I better go swap them out and put some more on. Im gonna go for now but not forever. I love you Cece Marks!!

Weekend with my baby

Thursday morning katie and I arrived in Gulfport at 11:30. I felt so free. CeCe was at work so I took a nap and waited on her to get home. I melted when I first seen her and when she hugged me. I have never felt so alive as I did when I was with her. She showed me things I have never seen before and took me places I have never been. I realized how much I do truly love her. Just laying my head on her shoulder as she drove melted my heart. This weekend will be a weekend I will never forget. The beach is amazing and so peaceful at night. My mind was so clear sitting on the beach with her. I felt like I didnt have a worry in the world. It was so nice to feel that way for a few days. Waking up to her beautiful face was amazing. The sex was amazing but just being in her arms was the best part and just sitting next to her on the couch and her having her head on my shoulder while she slept....it just felt so right. Everything felt so right. This is the happiest I think I have ever been. I cried when I realized I had to come back home. It broke my heart to have to leave and watching her drive away this morning to go to work bout killed me...but i had to pull myself together and get on the road home. I got home about 12:30..and the damn house was a mess...trips me out...i took a short nap and then did a little cleaning. Im still so tired...it will take me a few days to recooperate. I miss cece so much already. I never thought I could miss someone so quick...and continuously...but it has happened. Cece thank you for a great weekend and showing me your world and showing me how much you do love me. I had the time of my life and I really do miss you and I love you so much and I dont think I could even put into words how much. Im gonna go for now but not forever. I love you baby.

Been a good day

I got to ride my 4 wheeler a good bit today. It was fun...I felt free for a little while. Then I played around with cheer. She gave me lots of kisses....i wub her!!! She is so beautiful...I really hope momma can win a place in the horse show with her. I have a headache again..thats always great..Aunt Gail came over for a while this afternoon....its always nice to see her shining face :)....so i am skyping with CECE right now and she is playing the one song i truly hate and Im gonna kick her....I am sitting out in the patio listening to the music she is playing and the fucking tree frogs that wont shut up...but its peaceful out here...the day is growing nearer that I get to go to Gulf Port and see my honey. Super excited....ok so my head hurts so im done typing now.... I love you Baby

****Beautiful****

I did not sleep much last night as usual. I got to talk to my honey several times today on the phone and on facebook. Talking to her thru out the day always makes my day so much better. Just the sound of her voice makes me weak. I posted the poem I wrote for her a little over a month ago. I just thought I loved her a lot at that time. There is no comparison to how much I love her now. I really love skyping with her and talking on the phone and texting her. She has completely changed me and I am loving it. I love you baby... :) :) 

Poem I wrote on 3-11-12 for my Baby

Love is Gentle, Love is Kind

Love is gentle, Love is kind. 

I am so glad I can call you mine.

You are my life, you are my world.

In my eyes you are the perfect girl.

You bring out the best in me.

It's your eyes I long to see.

The touch of your hand gives me chills.

I'll never forget the way you feel.

It's not easy living apart.

But baby I do love you with all my heart.

I love the way you look at me and how you make me smile.

You in my life makes it worth while.

I hope you know how much I love you.

Always know my love is true.